The Journal: New Beginings
by OxMiss PeachesXo
Summary: Michiru revisists the past through her very own journal. But just as quickly leaves all that pain behind in the past where it belongs, moving onto the future. ONE SHOT!


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Sailor Moon, I am simply playing with them for the time being. [[Can you blame me?! They're just so darn cute. hehe. And I DO NOT get any money for the writing of this fic.**

**& I would also like to say I AM SORRY for the bad spelling. I am a horrid speller but I do my best. Please bare with me and I hope it doesn't defur you from reading!**

"The Journal; New Beginings"

A small women in a long white gown, with aqua hair pinned up on her head in an elegant style, sit silently in front of a barral in her back yard. She turned the pages of her Journal reading a entry to her self.

_"Date: 10-28-96_

_"Fading Into Nothing."_

_As I sit here watching the colors of the sun,_

_Wash over the cold, empty streets..._

_Spilling the colors onto the mountain tops,_

_Down to the valleys of our small town..._

_Where all our memories form..._

_From the window I peer from, I wander many things._

_Do you care?_

_Do you love me?_

_Does the pian I feel only hurt me?_

_What are you thinking of?_

_Is it me?_

_My heart aches you know..._

_My soul yerns for your touch._

_I wish i could kiss your lips again._

_What do you dream about?_

_Is it me?_

_Is it us?_

_Is it our love?_

_I have so many unanswered questions..._

_So many unanswered thoughts..._

_I don't know if I am comming,_

_Or if i am going anymore._

_You know..._

_I was so happy the day you asked me to be your wife..._

_What happened to our love?_

_Where did it go?_

_Is it hiding?_

_Are you afraid?_

_If so what of? and why?_

_I need you, you know that..._

_I miss you too..._

_More each day in fact..._

_When will i see you again?_

_When can i hold you?_

_I miss you!_

_::sighs::_

_I Love You!_

_And Only You!_

_Couldn't feel this way for anyone else..._

_Goodbye for a while..._

_Waiting for brighter days..._

_::Passionate Kisses::_

_Only to be shared with by you..._

_My dear 'Ruka..._

_Missing and Loving you so much IT HURTS._

_It truely does."_

She softly felt the wind blow the few lose strands of her hair. _"Atleast now I know what had happened to us, My love." _She thought to herself with a soft smile on her face. Flipping a few pages she read the next entry she stopped at.

_"Date: 11-16-96_

_"So Far Gone."_

_By the time you get this it will be too late... _

_By the time you realize what you had it'll be gone... _

_By the time you understand what I feel for you it'll have dissapeared... _

_By the time you see what you mean to me it'll all be meaningless... _

_I guess you didn't drink enough to say you love me... _

_I guess the way I see you now is what I've made you... _

_I guess you'll never care... _

_You'll never understand anything... _

_Cuz all you seem to care about is drugs, drinks, chicks, and friends... _

_What is a friend to you anyway Ruka? _

_Someone who comferts you when your alone with words of encouragment? _

_Or someone who gives you shit to hide what you feel? _

_I know where I stand with you... _

_Do you know? _

_Do you see how you've pushed me away? _

_See how I care about nothing? _

_See how I wish I would just dissapear so everyone could be happy again? _

_All I do is cause people pain, and like you I don't care if I do anymore... _

_You show you care with little things, _

_But the things that mean something you shut me out... _

_I know you'll never love me again, you dont want too... _

_Why do I stay then? _

_Why do I Love you so? _

_Why does my being yearn to be near you then? _

_I'll Never really know... _

_But I do know... _

_I'd never hurt you again... _

_But it doesnt matter you'll never know... _

_You'll never care to know... _

_That's why I must say goodbye... _

_Goodbye to this pain... _

_Maybe before it's too late you'll see... _

_But until then I'll be just want you want me to be... _

_A friend... a REAL one, one who listens and doesn't cover your pain with whatever is handy at the time... _

_So for now I'll be waiting but until than... _

_Goodbye Ruka... _

_I am dead inside, like you I feel nothing... _

_Like you I care about nothing... _

_Like you I love nomore... _

_I don't believe there is no such thing anymore... _

_Then why is it I still feel so alone? _

_Maybe I do... _

_Oh, That's right 'cuz when you left me you took my heart with you... _

_That's why I feel nothing, _

_Why I don't care. _

_Why I can't love anymore... _

_'Cuz there is nothng there for me to feel with... _

_It doesn't matter you don't care either... _

_I guess we're even now, Haruka. _

_We're now just another soul-less set of people walking this God forsaken earth... _

_I dont want to feel this way... _

_Only you can save me from my pain... _

_Only you can help heal my wounds... _

_If only you loved me..." _

Sitting the blue-green book down on the lap of the white fabric, she wipped a tear that threatened to fall from her eye, with her white gloved hand. She turned more pages and read another entry. One almost towards the end of the book and almost a year later then the first entry she had read while sitting there.

"Date: 6-12-97

_"I Just Want To..."_

_**SCREAM!!!!**_

_**  
Maybe then I will fall into reality and far from this dream I am trapped in...**_

_Is it even Possible...  
Are we all doomed to the enevitable.  
I just wish I knew the right path.  
I wish I knew why people have such a hold on me.  
But yet I am as free as a bird._

_I wish I could Spout my Angel wings now.  
& just Fly away from here.  
I would gather my love in my arms.  
& go somewhere so far from here._

_Noone would know who I am or what i failed to become.  
Noone would know that inside I am falling apart.  
More and more with each passing moment I fear.  
Noone would know that my heart is shattered.  
With words of lost hope weighing me down.  
Noone would know that I am so alone.  
& fear for my sanity._

_But then I would wander.  
Do they really care?  
Do they honestly Love me like they say they do?  
Or are they too wrapped up in the beauty they say I hold.  
I feel anything but beautiful._

_I feel everything but love.  
People say they care.  
But the saying is true.  
Actions DO speak louder then words.  
Louder then any words that spill from your luscious lips._

_Do you understand what I am saying?  
Do you know where I am comming from...  
DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE??!!??  
To be completely Honest with you, as I am with so many...  
I DO NOT THINK YOU DO!_

_I have nothing to lose.  
Yet I have nothing to gain from my heart that reaches towards you.  
Noone will ever know what lyes beneathe this smileing face._

_What am I to you anyway?!  
Just Another pretty face?  
Just another excuse for you to feel loved?  
Just another way to free yourself from your forsaken reality._

_Let me tell you this.  
I am NOT JUST another pretty face.  
I do not care for you like you think I do.  
If I do not tell you personally, I love you.  
Then Please, Do not kid yourself.  
I do not love you nor do I care.  
You are another passing face in my sea of blurred faces._

_I bust my ass trying to please people.  
For what?  
Honestly, Not a Gad damn thing...  
You do not care for me as you say you do._

_I am sitting here crying out to you.  
Pleading with you.  
Please, I beg you.  
Save me!!  
Anyone...  
Someone...  
There is noone..._

_Know this.  
I am human.  
As are you.  
So therefore.  
I do Love.  
& I do Bleed.  
I do cry.  
& I do Survive._

_With or Without your help.  
I will SET MYSELF FREE!!!_"

She frowned at the entry she had written years ago. _"I did eventually set myself free, but to the expense of hurting you."_ She thought to herself. _"But in the end we both overcome our great hardships. And now I couldn't be happier."_

Reading onto the next entry she was interupted by someone calling out to her. "Michiru, Honey are you ready to go we are going to be late." A tall, green haired beauty in a pale blue-green strapless dress, with matching blue-green gloves on her hands and halfway up her arms stated.

"Oh, Yea. I am done." She said standing she lit a small fire in the barrel in front of her. Looking at the small bluish book in her hands she whispered. "Farwell old friend." And threw the small book into the fire. She watched it catch and slowly brun into nothing for a minute or two before the lady beside her spoke again.

Now standing beside Michiru the women spoke. "We have to get going. Haruka is waiting for you at the church." The smaller women smiled at her dear friend. "It's time for a new beginning Michiru." She said with a smile looking at the book in the fire, turning from the bluish color to black.

"Yes it is, Setsuna." She smiled also looking at the fire. "Let's go." They walked away from the barrel which held the journal of all her painful memorys of the past.

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"I do." Smiled a blonde women in a tux, looking down towards the aqua haired beauty before her.

"You may kiss the bride." The preacher said as the blonde leaned down towards the aqua haired bride, bringing her lips to hers in a sweet, tender kiss. After breaking apart she pulled the smaller women into a hug burring her face in her neck. She whispered into the smaller brides ear. "I am sorry for the past. I know I can't change what I've done to you but know now that I have the rest of our lives to make it up to you, one day at a time. I love you, Michiru."

Michiru smiled a pulled back to look into the blondes eyes before her. "I love you too, Haruka." She said barley above a whisper, but loud enough for the blonds ears to hear.

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**YAY! the end. lol. I originally had these poems up seperatly but I wanted to do a story with them and had to save them cuz my computer kept crashing. So I put them up on here til I got to writing this story. So here it is a short one shot, with a happy ending. :-D PLEASE, Please reveiw. Just click the little 'go' button and type a bit to me in the window that opens up. If you've read this far please take a few more minutes of your time to atleast tell me if you loved it, mildly liked it or just hated it. Your review does help. Thanks!**


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